I become extremely irrational in stressful situations. Nothing provokes my rampant irrationality more than nature. From the warm glow of my laptop screen - I love nature. Flowers are awesome. Trees are great. Rolling mountains are wicked. In reality they are fucking shit. Flowers send me into an allergy hell of incessant sneezing fits. Trees are a hazard to my wayward concentration. Hills are slightly inclined, therefore requiring strenuous effort to mount them. The wind though…the motherfucking wind. Allie Brosh (of Hyperbole and a Half) has illustrated my frustration perfectly. Often I feel the wind has a vendetta against me; blowing my hair directly in front of my mouth as I attempt to eat, resulting in a sizable hairball being chewed into my food.
I’m getting emotional just thinking about the countless snacks that have been ruined.
Please raise your hand if you have ever felt personally victimized by
Regina George the wind.
You are not alone.